IAN'S FEEDBACK CONTINUED: THE ENDING OF MY SCRIPT

CHANGE 2: KATE AUDITIONS FOR LOCAL BALLET (ENDING) 

After speaking to Ian, I have realised that my ending wasn't dramatic enough. It didn't include Kate's last struggle before she finally decides to perform. Therefore, it didn't provide a strong enough ending that I wanted for the script.

INITIALLY:  
Kate's name is called for her audition. She has a second of doubt in her mind and walks to leave, however she immediately turns back to perform without hesitation.

CHANGED TO: 
Kate is sitting anxiously by the wings of the stage. Her name is called to perform. She looks towards the stage to become overwhelmed by the overly lit bright lights. Her mother's voice begins to repeat in her head again, telling her that she isn't good enough. This voice takes over. The judges turn into the monsters that Kate sees in her nightmares/ Kate's mind wanders and she collapses on stage for a few seconds. Paramedics gather round. Kate imagines herself ascending upwards into the air, above the stage, she sees the judges as nonthreatening now and starts dancing in the air. She regains conciousness, ready to perform. It takes her a while before she actually starts dancing, and she makes mistakes, but nevertheless, she is showing signs that she is taking steps to overcome her anxiety.

JUSTIFICATION: 
The updated scene, in my opinion leads to a more effective conclusion. Here Kate is still struggling with her nerves and collapses. The dream sequence here, is important, as it shows a changed perception on the same situation. The judges are still there, but Kate decides in her dream to take the full control, ascend upwards into the air, to see them as friendly faces. She now chooses to see a different side to the situation. This also links well with the nightmare sequence at the beginning, showing how Kate is no longer intimidated by people around her. Therefore, there is more of an emotional effect when Kate starts to perform, as the audiences have witnessed her stressful emotional journey, which leads to a hopeful ending; Kate is taking steps to overcome the negativity dominating her mind.

CONCLUDING IDEAS FOR MY SCRIPT 

• The aim of this film, is not to show Kate becoming a professional ballerina, like the typical dance film. It rather shows how dance can be an expressive art form, powerful in overcoming certain types of stress, fear and anxiety. Dancing is merely a hobby for Kate, which she uses to overcome her social anxiety and gain her confidence. 
• My script offers a hopeful attitude in overcoming certain issues, but by no means intends to say that this is easy. Kate is taking steps to overcome her anxiety. By the end of the film, she is still anxious about performing and throughout the dance, she still becomes nervous, thus Kate isn't completely rid of her problem but she is on the right tracks.